Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick or Treat

So my favorite holiday, Halloween, has come and passed. I feel as beat down and defeated (in a good way) as I always do after a weekend of all-night fun.

This year, Nat and I celebrated Halloween in Okayama. We dressed up as The Man With No Name (Clint Eastwood from the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly). For a cowboy costume, I thought that they were really good. In a country where costumes are hard to come by, I feel like we ended up having the best costume we've had in years. It didn't feel cheap nor did it look store bought. It almost looked like something a real cowboy would wear. It was a bit of an adventure trying to find all of the stuff needed but in the end it paid off. The cowboy hats were the hardest to find and also the most expensive, but they turned out well for us. We also scored two pretty sweet Panchos. Throw in some Daiso revolvers and we had ourselves a pretty good costume.

Besides our costumes, this year's Halloween was as fun as ever. We went out to Okayama on Saturday and had ourselves a pretty good time. We checked out the local foreigner bar, Pinball, and then we went dancing at one of Okayama's only dance clubs, Matador. It was actually kind of strange as not that many people were dressed up. Usually, in America, seeing a cowboy in October is nothing special but over here in Japan, we were dropping jaws left and right. I think our revolvers put some real fear into people, especially the clerk at McDonald's. She couldn't stop staring at our guns and seemed a bit nervous. Either way, McDonald's is no fit place for a Cowboy to rob. We usually aim for banks. However, I rather liked the fact that hardly anybody was dressed up. We got to interact with some regular Japanese people in a way that wouldn't have been possible if Halloween costumes were a more common occurrence in Japan.

The places that we went to were pretty cool. I mean, Okayama is a small place so beggars can't be choosers. Pinball was one of the only places filled costume clad party-ers. Costumes of note included Mrs. Potato Head, Captain Jack Sparrow, Boba Fett, Robin Hood, Afro Samurai and Justin Timberlake (with his dick in a box of course). Although the costumes were nice, this was one of the areas that Japan received a lower grade on as far as Halloween celebrations are concerned. The costumes are on another level back home. But that's okay, it was still a blast! After Pinball, we headed to Matador for some dancing. Nothing crazy there, just a good old fashioned Halloween dance party. On the way home (early in the morning), one of the best parts was being drunk on my bike and shooting at unassuming pedestrians. I have a new found respect for a Cowboy's ability to aim and ride a horse at the same time.

Sunday night's celebrations were even better. Although almost nobody was dressed up in Okayama, we ended up having an even better time. We were with a smaller group of friends (Gene; horse, Yui; peruvian, Tim; ash, and Melinda; pikachu), so we were able to do a lot more talking and just general building up of the Halloween madness. We went to a Spanish restaurant and had some delicious Tapas. Afterwards, it was hilarious to watch Gene (in his horse head costume) umm...horse around. We also went to a really nice reggae bar, played some drinking games, and topped off the night with a round of Karaoke.

So overall, it was a really good time. I can't wait to see what next year's Halloween will bring. In the meantime though, I've got follow up training to attend to and then a 3 day weekend. What should we do? too many things to choose from.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Le Cirque D'Osaka

Last weekend, Natalie and I treated ourselves with a trip to Osaka to go see Le Cirque Du Soleil's KOOZA show. Being half Quebecois, I'm really proud that such a production is from where I'm from. It was also Natalie's first time seeing them, so we had to jump on this opportunity.

I don't have much to say about the show except that it was amazing. It's just much more than a circus. It's more than the sum of it's parts: it's a work of art. The costumes and stage production (including lights) were top notch. You could tell that each performer was one of the best at what they do. The clowns were hilarious and the music was incredible. Every part of the production came together to form a true masterpiece. I love Cirque Du Soleil. So far I've seen two: The Beatles LOVE show and Kooza. Kooza was much more about the performance and the acrobatic acts while the Beatles LOVE was more about how the costumes and dancing fit with the incredible music of the Beatles. I'm not sure which one I liked more, but all I know is that I want to keep seeing more of these shows.

It was kind of strange seeing it in Japan. The audience is so tame. Everyone seemed to enjoy it tremendously, but their reactions are so respectful. Nobody gets up and yells "YEAH" or "WOO" to cheer them on. Everyone just respectfully claps. It also seemed like some of the Japanese didn't quite understand some of the humor incorporated by the clowns as it was a bit I don't know. I guess you could say it seemed like some of it could've offended a few people. Not us though, it was hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed the show and I can't wait to see another one.

Although we went to see the show, we weren't going to skip out on Osaka itself. Being the 3rd biggest city in Japan, it was quite a contrast from where we live. It is modern Japan. It felt really nice to be somewhere full of life and youth. It was happening. We realized that we missed the big city. So much to do and so much to see. We really didn't explore too much but we did see the Shinsaibashi-Namba-Americakura area of Osaka. It's a huge nightlife slash restaurant slash shopping area full (and I mean full) of people. There is so much to do and see, and with so many lights. It's a visceral treat for the eyes.

We went shopping and bought some cool stuff and we also tried Osaka style Okonomiyaki and Takoyaki. Okonomiyaki (the Japanese pancake) is different than in Hiroshima. In Osaka, the ingredients are mixed together whereas in Hiroshima, the ingredients are expertly stacked upon each other. I prefer the Osaka one so far but I was really intoxicated for the other one. Osaka is also famous for Takoyaki, Japanese squid balls. These things are really delicious!

Overall, I had a great vacation with Natalie. I can't wait to go back to Osaka as it's also famous for it's nightlife.

The Atomic Bomb Memorial

Being in Hiroshima, Natalie and I decided that it would be a really good idea to check out Peace Park. Unfortunately (and tragically), Hiroshima has the unique distinction of being one of two cities to have had an atomic bomb dropped on it. The city itself is a unique reminder of the disastrous effects of such an immensely powerful weapon and also of the spirit of humanity.

Hiroshima itself is a city of the 21st century. It's modern and full of life. One would never know that 70 years ago, the city was completely leveled in an instantaneous act of destruction. The only reminder is thesomber Hiroshima Atomic Dome. The Hiroshima Atomic Dome is the shell of the former city hall. The only thing left of it is the shell, some twisted metal bars, and a few bricks. It's a unique reminder of what such a bomb is capable of.

Hiroshima is brimming with activists raising awareness and with memorials of some of the Atomic Bomb's victims. One such memorial is for a girl who folded 1,000 paper cranes because she thought it would heal her illness caused by radiation. When she died, her classmates erected a memorial in her honor and filled it with paper cranes. Each year, schools from around the world and Japan send paper cranes to the memorial.

Another unique place is the Atomic Bomb Museum. The museum was extremely eye opening. It gave clear cut facts and numbers, and even better, it didn't point any fingers. It seemed to be quite neutral. It didn't say America was bad for dropping the bomb or this and that, it just gave clear cut facts. It went through the history of Hiroshima and Hiroshima's part in WWII. It then went into why America decided to drop the bomb and then it showed the destructive power of the bomb itself. The museum also went into the effect of radiation and the every day lives of people who survived. It talked about nuclear bombs and what people around the world are trying to do to prevent the use of Nukes. It was all very stunning, and emotional.

The bomb caused unbelievable suffering, both short term and long term. There are still people suffering from the effects of the bomb. The museum also did a great job of showing how Hiroshima survived and built itself back up.

I'm certainly in no position to analyze such a catastrophic event but I recommend that everyone should go see Hiroshima. It's important that we become aware of such a weapon and that we realize just what we have in and to learn from our mistakes. We need to get rid of them, for sure.

The Sake Bomb

Having been in Japan for over 3 months, I surprisingly hadn't tried any Sake. There's just something about it that doesn't appeal to me that much. Maybe it reminds of Korea's firewater, Soju or maybe I'm simply a beer person..I'm not sure. I've just never really had any reason to seek out the best Sakes like I do for the best beers. When I heard that there was a Sake Festival near Hiroshima in October, I just had to check it out.

So Sake Festival was a ton of freaking fun! The Sake festival was actually part of a much bigger festival (and I have no idea what that is). I celebrate alcohol and nothing else, after all. More affectionately called Sake Fest, we had to pay all of 1,800 Yen (18 bucks) to drink all of the Sake we could stomach in a roughly 6 hour time frame. That's virtually unheard of in America. All you can drink for 18 bucks...to quote Ralph:: "That's unpossible." You're first given a small Sake cup and then they set you loose. The whole place is just a big enclosed park filled with drunken madness. All of the areas of Japan are represented: Hokkaido, Kibi, Chugoku, Kinki, Chubu, etc.

My goal at Sake fest was to find the best Sake, but after a few shots, I  lost track of what I had drank and what I had tried. I remember that number 51 was good and that the Kinki region was to be avoided. I also remember that I liked spicy Sake better than the sweet kind and also that Chairo Sake (brown Sake) was better than the clear type. After about 30 shots of Sake, how I was I supposed to keep track of anything? However, I think Sake is pretty good. It's a very clear sort of inebriation. I certainly don't feel hazy like when I drink wine and I don't feel angry like when I drink Four Loco. My head felt clear and joyful. I think Sake is quite good in honesty, but I'm most definitely not a lover. I'll stick with beer.

Overall, the whole day was quite nice. We met a lot of people there: foreigners and Japanese. When everyone is under the influence of alcohol, interactions tend to be more interesting. Either way, I don't remember much about leaving the festival. I remember that I ended up in an Okonomiyaki restaurant. Okonomiyaki is basically a Japanese pancake and it's a specialty of Hiroshima. I would like to say I loved the food but I was too drunk to really eat anything. After feeling better, we headed to Karaoke and some dancing. A good day, I'd say..

Sad story about Sake Fest: The drunken G-Pa.

At one point while a group of us were sitting down and chatting, An older Japanese man (extremely drunk) was trying to initiate conversation with us. A couple of hours later, we saw this same man with his grandchildren. His grand children were crying, and he was incredibly drunk and basically telling them to leave him alone. I just can't believe you would take your grand children to such an event, especially after you were entrusted with taking care of them. And then to be so irresponsible as to drink to the point of being unable to care for them. That's just sad.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Exhausted

So much has happened the past couple of weeks that I haven't really had any time to blog at all. Work is getting crazy with parent observations and follow up training slowly creeping towards me and the weekends have been busy with trips to Hiroshima and Osaka.

I'd really like to sit down and write down what happened and what I did but there just hasn't been any time,plus I'm really exhausted. Being so active on the weekends really takes it out of me. I'll try to recuperate tonight and have an update in the next couple of days

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Cable Guy

Imagine that you're at home, on a Saturday night, enjoying your free time after work and all of a sudden, someone is at the door. Guess who it is? It's a guy from NBC (or Radio Canada or any other single channel) and he's here to collect $26.50/month fee from you for the crime of simply having a TV. How would you feel?
So tonight, after work, I headed home to my apartment to get changed. There's a vending machine (common in Japan) outside of my apartment and I noticed that there was a guy in a suit kind of loitering about. I didn't think much of it, since this is Japan, and crime is almost non-existent. A few minutes after entering my apartment, this same guy rings my doorbell. So, out of curiosity, I opened the door to find a Japanese man (mid 40's) of middle height, dressed in a mismatched suit with a fanny pack containing one of those electronic reader things, speaking in Japanese to me. I don't really need to explain that, considering my limited Japanese, and his English of 3 spoken words, we were going to have a problem.

At first, I thought that this guy was trying to sell me something. I mean, why else does someone knock on your door at 8:00 o clock for? In our unsuccessful dialogue, I managed to make out the words TV, NHK (a popular channel here in Japan), and remote control. So, I figured he wanted me to buy cable or something, since he also kept pointing at the figure $26.50 (which is an outrageous price for one channel!). After trying to get him to leave and trying to explain that I didn't have any money, I realized that he probably didn't want me to buy something. At this point, we were both frustrated so I decided to call my manager, who promptly talked to guy to see what the heck I was getting heckled about.

After this quick conversation, my manager explained to me that he was here to collect a bill for that specific TV channel but had kindly explained to him that he should come back another time. After hanging up the phone, he STILL wouldn't leave. This guy was just heckling the shit out of me. Couldn't he get the point that I didn't speak Japanese? After a few minutes of trying to explain that I would pay him next time so he should come back, I gave up and called my manager again. This time, my manager got him to leave. He agreed to come back on Monday, at which time, I was instructed by my manager to ignore him.

So, after all this, I was really confused. Was I getting scammed or did I really owe money to some bill collector for some random channel I didn't even know I had? My manager explained to me that these guys from NHK try to bully people into paying for this channel. Apparently, these guys claim that we legally have to pay for this channel (it's one fucking channel!) but most people just ignore them. They try to catch you at odd hours of the day and get you to cough up some dough by being very direct and refusing to leave. It's also apparently a bad idea to answer the door unless you're expecting a delivery or friends because they aren't the only guys trying to collect money. Milk men and newspaper dudes are also in on it. So yeah, lesson learned: Don't open the door in Japan. Also, most people have illegal cable in Japan and they only pay for it if they get caught by creepers on Saturday nights. At least...I THINK that's right. Who knows? I'm still confused.



Saturday, October 8, 2011

Bizarre Foods With Nikola Do: Episode 1

A couple of days ago, Natalie and I tried a very peculiar original Japanese culinary item called Natto. Needless to say, Natto is truly what I'd call bizarre. 

Technically, Natto is just fermented soybeans. It's supposedly healthy and is usually eaten at breakfast, along with some rice or even toast. It doesn't sound too crazy in it's description. Actually, to me, it just sounded like bean jam. Throw it on a piece of toast and you've got yourself a meal. So when my student recommended it to me, being in Japan and all, I had to try one of Japan's most curious items.

So, Natalie and I went to the store and purchased one of those bad boys. It cost us roughly 90 cents (not a good sign) and came in a three pack (also, not a good sign). It was too cheap and these was too much of it.

So, once again, what is Natto?

According to the internet, it's fermented soybeans and it comes in a package that looks like this:



Not too bad right? Just looks like a pack of beans with some soy sauce thrown in to spice things up. BUT (and there's always a but) it's when you open it up and eat it that things get interesting. So, what is Natto, according to me? It basically looks like beans but it's extremely slimy, like when you take a pizza right out of the oven, pick up a slice, and the cheese stretches endlessly combined with the nagging "I can't get it off" of a spider web. It's kind of like cheesy snot. It also emits a strong (and I do mean strong) chemical odor. It's kind of like if someone was trying to hide the smell of vomit with dollar store brand cleaning agents.

Fortunately, to me, Natto fared better in the taste department. It kind of just tastes like beans, but cold and with an odd chemical taste to it. After a generous application of salt, it was okay. I couldn't eat it much but combined with the right things like maybe rice or bread and cheese, I think I could do it. But yeah, many people, with good reason, hate Natto...especially Natalie. She defined it as the definition of disgusting.



A picture of Natto:

Monday, October 3, 2011

Doctor Doctor

Today was the first time that I've been to the doctor for an annual check-up in two years. It's usually not worth the effort to blog about (don't worry, I'm perfectly healthy), but hey, I went to the doctor in Japan. I'd just like to record some of the differences in the way my check-up was operated here as opposed to how they are usually done in America (from my experiences of course).

Usually, in America, we make an appointment to go to our specific doctor. When you get there, you sign in, fill in a few forms, and then you wait in the lobby. It's usually a lobby that has a particularly bad smell (smells like sick children and old magazines maybe?) and is filled with old magazines from two or three years prior. They call your name, and then you're taken to the back where the nurses take your weight and your blood pressure (basically, they do the dirty work). After this, you meet the doctor. He or She talks to you for a little bit, does a few checks, tells you what is good or bad, and then you're out of there. You get your shots or whatever, and settle your bill. That's it. The whole process takes an hour to an hour and a half and will involve maybe 2 or 3 people at the most.

Let's talk about Japanese medical check-ups. This year, my job scheduled an appointment for me, which was nice because going to the doctor is something I tend to forget, especially since I feel healthy. After scheduling your appointment, they send you a package (that you need to fill out with all of that information about your health that you usually do at the doctors office). It also contains the exact date and time in which you need to be at the hospital. If you don't arrive within the time frame, you don't go. Be punctual. This is Japan after all. So, I arrived to the hospital (which was immaculately clean and modern) and turned in my paper work.

After you do this, you're handed a paper cup and told to go pee in it (standard), but the nice thing is that you don't have to wait in the lobby until your name is called (like in America). You just go to the bathroom and pee in the cup. And get this, in the actual stall (for pissing), there is a little sliding window for your to deposit your cup into where the piss analysts (haha its rhymes) can conveniently get your cup from. No awkward spilling or tripping with a cup of pee in the doctor's office. Thank you Japan.

Afterwards, you sit down in another lobby where there are a handful of different stations filled with different functions. One station checks your hearing, another your eye sight, and another your blood pressure. You wait for your name to be called (which takes no more than 5 minutes or so. basically, whenever the next available station can have you). Once your name is called, you go to the station. The nurse explains what she will do and how to do it. You do it, and then she points you to the next station where  you repeat the process. You do this multiple times. You get your x-ray done at a station. The whole process culminates in another lobby (a nice one with no smell) where you wait to the doctor to call your name. There are a few doctors available at any one time, each with their own little offices. Once inside, you do the usually doctor things. Answer questions and check your breathing, It's all pretty painless. If there is nothing wrong (which thankfully, there wasn't), you are cleared to get your flu shot.

So basically, the whole thing was like an assembly line. Sure, it wasn't as personal an experience but it was really efficient. They were herding dozens of people through their stations. It just doesn't seem nearly as efficient in America. The facility was also ultra clean, and ultra modern. It just didn't feel like a sick house. I hate that feeling. In the end, the result is the same. You get your health checked. But I really enjoyed this experience for some reason. It just seemed like a smarter way to use the doctor's time. It took about 2 hours (a little longer than in America, but I think that's because they make you stay an extra 30 after the flu shot to make sure there are no complications) .Overall, I enjoyed this very different experience that to others may seem completely mundane.

p.s. Thanks to Ryusuke for translating everything and being really helpful. Couldn't have done anything without him.

Home Invasions

I'm under a lot of pressure to write this post as I'm now being assaulted by some truly dangerous beings. In an effort to contribute to mankind and the safety of mankind, I'm going to try to inform my fellow Scientists and Historians on a very particular matter concerning the Japanese Ninja and I will do so under extremely difficult circumstances as I have yet to figure out a way to fight these ninjas.

Although Ninjutsu (the art of the Ninja) is currently being taught in Japan and in many places all over the world, official histories have recorded the Ninja (and the Samurai) as being extinct for almost 200 years now. Unfortunately, and due to some rather vicious experiences last night, I now know that these specific Japanese Ninja's are anything but extinct. In fact, they may have been around for thousands and thousands of years before the advent of the ninja we consider to be matter of fact. Let me start by giving a direct comparison of the ancient and respected Japanese Ninja and this new (or ancient) Japanese Ninja followed by an account of my personal encounters with these most terrifying...Ninja's

A Direct Physical Comparison of the Ancient Ninja and the Mystery Ninja (2011)



Ancient Ninja
Mystery Ninja
 Age
15 – 40 years old
1 day old
Nationality
Japanese
Japanese
Sex
Male or Female
Male or Female
Weight
60 – 80 kilograms
.01 grams
Height
150 – 200 centimeters
.05 centimeters
Garment
Black clothing
Black skin
Weapons
Sharp and Pointy
Sharp and Pointy
Special Abilities
Can appear and disappear at will. Can jump really high.
Can appear and disappear at will. Can fly at will.
Methods
Can draw blood from victims in a variety of stealthy attacks.
Can draw blood from victims with one stealthy attack.
Purpose
Hired by lords to assassinate or steal
Hired by their own self to bother and aggravate humans
Mark
Covers his/her entire face with a mask
Has wings
Sound
Possibly footsteps
Possibly buzzing

It is clear (from this chart) that both the ancient Ninja and this mystery Ninja are rather similar in nature and style, except for one glaring difference; the former being of Homo-Sapien descent and the latter being of mosquito descent. This also legitimizes my hypothesis that this Mosquito Ninja has in fact been around for possibly millions of years while our beloved ancient Ninja has had the lifespan of an infant in comparison. Let us move on to my personal  experience (in chronological order) involving the Mosquito Ninja:

Around 1 AM and having just finished watching a couple of episodes of The Wire Season 3, Natalie and I were most notably exhausted and we had decided to head to that peaceful place where Ninjas don't usually disturb us. We were most definitely ready for a long rest, especially considering that Saturdays are our most exhausting day wok wise. After having fallen into a deep sleep, we were both gradually awakened to the realization that there was something in the bed room and that that something was not a friend, but a foe, intent on making our night as miserable as can be.

A few wounds on my legs, a couple on my elbows, and one on my face made me fly through a range of possible actions that I could undertake: 1. scan the room through my sleepy eyes in order to determine who or what was invading the bedroom 2. call the police (a perfectly logical reaction to a ninja attack in America, but rather illogical in Japan, where I would most likely be unable to communicate the word "help" and more likely the communicate the word "Green" "Ninja" Sushi" considering my limited Japanese vocabulary) 3. Grab the nearest spray bottle (most likely Febreeze) and hope that would ward off my enemy 4. Grab a baseball bat and go "ape shit" 5. hide in the closet 6. or retreat ever more deeply into my blanket and hope that such a thin layer of fabric and an attempt to sleep would set things right. Most gentlemen of my nature, having considered the aforementioned options, would gracefully choose option 6 and so that is what we undertook.

In my attempted sleep, I was reminded that a peaceful slumber is a goal that is almost unreachable in such extreme conditions as were presented before me. In addition to vicious attacks by this Ninja, my wounds were worsening by the minute. Although the Human being is capable of great fortitude and acts of courage under the most drastic conditions, I was unable to resist the urge to eventually "scratch my boo boo" (as I had so eloquently stated to myself inside my head). There was also a rather large sense of discomfort in the environment itself. It had seemed to me that this enemy had planted additional distractions in order to further aggravate me. Terrible Japanese music seemed to be coming from outside of the apartment (although logically, and under normal circumstances, I would have assumed that this was from the neighbor. I now believe that it was a ploy by the enemy to further distract me). It also seemed as if Natalie had been left alone after the initial attacks for the most part. Psychological warfare. Clever Indeed...

After months a few minutes of being bombarded by worsening bullet wounds, cannon shots (in the form bad Japanese music), psychological tricks, and continued attacks by a powerful enemy, I finally heard it. At the peak of my dilemma, I heard a buzzing sound go past my ear. The realization came to me in a flash. I was being attacked by a mosquito (freaking useless ugly pipsqueak!). How did I come to this most complicated realization you ask? Well, for one, I used my extensive knowledge of the Japanese Ninja to deduce that it couldn't have been a Japanese Ninja. For example, Ninjas, according to that most terrible Hollywood movie, Ninja Assassin, are usually charged with single handedly attacking armies of robot army tanks. Since, I am not a robot army tank, my observation was proved to be correct. According to other Ninja lore, Ninja's usually come in the form of either 4 mutant talking turtles or in the form of 3 highly privileged Caucasian suburban boys. In addition to those observations, I also know that Ninjas usually approach their foes on foot, without making a buzzing sound.

Realizing that I would probably be able to take my new foe in a fight (considering I outsized and outweighed him considerably), I turned on the lights and arose with the determination that I would slap the living shit (literally) out of this mosquito. Armed with a pair of chopsticks (like the mosquito killing master; Mister Miyagi (r.i.p.)), I waited patiently for my chance to snatch him out of the air while looking like a 70 year old Karate master teaching a lanky 14 year old privileged suburban Caucasian male how to fight some neighborhood bullies who have fierce mullets. I quickly caught my first glance of the mosquito through the silhouette of the ceiling light, and it gave me the confidence to go after him with all of the strength left in my dying and wounded (from mosquito bites) body. However, my chance never came again. Disappeared into thin air. Gone. Sayonara'd. Peaced Out. Made like a tree and leaved.

That's when I realized I had been defeated by not JUST a mosquito, but a Japanese Ninja Mosquito. Highly effective attacks combined with the ability to disappear at will. That's the new Japanese Ninja. Unbelievable. Another sleepless night handed to me by a worthless foe (or maybe it is I who is worthless?).

So you see my fellow historians, it's time to change history. Scientists, it's time to put aside those thoughts of saving the environment. We need to figure out a way to fight this new foe, together! We need to build mosquito shelters and we need to drill our children throughout the school day on how to defend themselves. We need to build nuclear repellant bombs! It's a sad future we face in the 21st century, but if we do not come together, we may be faced with the sad prospect of a few sleepless nights and some itchy arms. It pains me to think about it. We must band together!